Popular culture

Popular culture seems to idolize a certain way of living. As I listened to “Pop That Pussy” by 2 Live Crew, I couldn’t help but notice the themes: open sex, partying hard, doing drugs, and living without limits. The message is clear—freedom means indulgence. In another one of their songs, “Banned in the USA,” the group pushes back against censorship, arguing that their lyrics are misunderstood and not meant to promote violence or disrespect toward women. They claim to be simply expressing pleasure and freedom in a new era, pushing against the morals of those who don’t understand—likely white, conservative America. Hearing those lyrics made me reflect on the current state of popular culture, especially from my perspective as a middle-class white guy in my early twenties. Today, in much of rap, movies, and TikTok, there’s this ever-present sense that to be “free” is to act on every desire. If you want to fuck, you fuck. If you want to do drugs, you do them. If you want to party and lose ...
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march 15

 I'm drunk, high, and off of some nicotine and I want to see what I'm going to write. 


I feel like part of me has a great disliking for my own character. There is constant judgement about my actions and no sympathy for how I've dealt with things. It feels like everything that is not perfect is terrible and one action defines me as a character. I could have a great night but one comment completely derails and invalidates all other actions taken that night. 


The fact that I am juggling 2 jobs and a full schedule of school doesn't even cross my mind. The only thing that does is the mistakes I made in those jobs, or in school. Any little mistake just lingers.


Part of me thinks this is how it is. The mind goes to dark places to force you to become a better version of yourself, but another part of me believes that this forcement should come naturally and with some sort of grace instead of self-hatred/doubt.

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