Posts

Showing posts from April, 2024

The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...

April 11

 Patterns: A pattern I noticed today is my lack of self belief when it comes to choosing the people I want in my life. As soon as someone has something bad to say about someone I immediately begin judging my own idea of that person. This is a constant issue that arises and it disconnects me from creating a bond with said individual because I now lack the necessary trust in that person to make it happen. Maybe it's helped me avoid bad relationships but I also think it's stopped me from forming any meaningful ones.  In the future if I feel something of that nature arise I'll talk to the person about it. For example I'll tell them "hey, so and so said this about you and I want to know your thoughts about it". This will most likely lead to a very awkward situation but I get the most out of those sorts of interactions, regardless of the reaction.

April 6

Image
It's late as fuck right now and I can't sleep. My shift was long and I ended up eating and smoking before bed which never works out well in terms of my sleep quality. I'm anxious to fall asleep so I can get my day started tomorrow but I'm struggling to shut off. Not too upset or in my head which is different than most nights. I noticed myself slipping into an anxious though pattern and was able to highlight it as such and take my attention away from it.  I feel like I'm finally starting to understand how to live a better life and truly it starts with being bold and keeping your feet planted and spine aligned and head high with that decision. The more you do this the more you understand what you truly want.  Here's a building.