MAYBE MATURING

Through my 24 years on this planet I've spent a lot of it thinking about how I'm perceived by others. There's always been a nagging urge to please and impress. I looked for the people who were the best at this. My takeaways were to be outgoing, loud, and unaffected. I embodied them but they didn't stick. For years I would try and be this person I wasn't–and for the most part was unsuccessful in reaching my goal of being liked. I reached a breaking point recently where all that effort into being someone else stopped being worth it. The kicker was the continuous pursuit of actions that didn't have a planned outcome of being liked. Meaning that instead of choosing to do something to please, I chose to do something I thought was right. This is difficult, especially with people you like/rely on for income. You venture into unknown territory, you lose control (you never had any). In my life I've been quiet, not always, but I've always disliked large group sett...