The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...
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Dec 30

 I get in the habit of deep thought often brought on by books, the internet, or music. These thoughts begin with me connecting to a certain aspect of what is being said and then doing a complete deep dive into the meaning. I think I'm searching for some kind of truth in my head. I.e., the world is a bad place or believing in religion. Every once in a while I'll hold firm on one of these beliefs but as soon as my actual experience challenges it I go right back to research. 


Questions I ask myself:

- how hard should I work? 

- should I always strive for perfection?

- do you give up on old friends? 

- is being a "good" person actually deceitful?


I find answers to these questions which motivate me in the moment. But it's just something someone wrote and it could or couldn't apply to my life and my situation. The only thing that truly feels like the right answer is to live every day fully. And what I mean by that isn't to party all the time or go on adventures but to instead be present with the reality of my life. The reality might often suck. For example, I might have to work but that allows me to live in an apartment and eat good food. Both things I desperately want and need. I also want and need attention, affection, friendships, relationships, etc.., More often than not with the intangibles, I try and find solutions to getting those needs met. For example, instead of finding friends i'll just meditate or smoke weed, or play video games, or workout. In the end I'm just on a floating rock so none of it really matters. 

What I wish I did was go out and SOLVE MY OWN PROBLEMS. I consistently resort back to hunkering down and trying to change my brains mind rather than agreeing with what I need and doing something to get it done. 


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