The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...
Post a Comment

Direction

 I've often struggled with a sense of direction. My actions as well as my environment have made it somewhat easy to follow a routine path through to the end of college. Many kids get jobs right away or go back to pursue further education. I did neither. I wanted a detox from the constant "path" that I, as an American citizen was suppose to follow. The detox, coming up on a year out of school has had it's ups and downs. I've faced many fears including talking about my feelings, fears, trauma, and general anxieties that plague my days. I'm still not where I want to be but the progress was much quicker than when I'd been in school and preoccupied with everything that comes with that. 

I'm at the point where I feel a direction needs to be chosen. I have a job as a real estate agent secured in New York City for the fall which is tempting but is risky. Other options are to go back to school, or continue serving and bartending in my hometown. I can't make a decision. Each path has it's pros and cons and I've been mulling it over for months now. 

Leaving my hometown means leaving my long-time friends who I've always felt are a work in progress in terms of my relationship to them. We have ups and downs and I'm often not satisfied with them. However, I think that I'm responsible for part of the damage to the relationship as well. Part of staying would be to see if I can heal the relationship by kind of healing myself. For example, by trying to be more present and aware of my actions towards them and also being more loving and honest with them. The thing is I could be totally right about them as well and be wasting my time. Honestly, I decided to live with them and commit to staying in Madison because I wanted to see if change was possible. I still haven't figured it out. 


Comments

Post a Comment