The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...
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June 9

 I talked to my bosses today. They sat me down and brought up that I had mentioned wanting a day off. She started the conversation with "we were very shocked and disappointed" which doesn't feel great. I was taken aback and might have been more defensive if the job hadn't gotten significantly easier the last few days. Still, in retrospect, I wish I would have held my ground and gone over some points that weren't great and still aren't great. 

For example, I'm working 7 days a week, earning on average $100 a day. My paycheck doesn't reflect that either because there are delays in payouts. 

The only reason I am hesitant to speak on this is that I did accept the job knowing this. I don't feel like they truly explained the 7-day thing but in all honesty, I could have just been so excited about coming to New York that it slipped by. 

A positive is that the end of the month is calmer and I'll have much more free time which is nice. 

I'm also learning a lot, not just real estate-wise but also learning to socialize better.


I think my main "thing" now is setting better boundaries and really following them even if I don't feel them at the moment. Cause I'm really nice and appreciate people for who they are but I do feel like I lack trust in some individuals and think they could just be using that niceness against me.


I'm young though and this is a pretty great experience regardless of pay. Just a little skeptical and annoyed about the "shocked and disappointed" statement.  Like bitch, I worked my ass off for a week and a half straight and your giving me attitude for asking to get a day off. 


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On a positive note, Jake definitely seems more friendly and I really like some of the other realtors and interns.


I got invited to a party by an intern today and I went around 7ish. I got in line and talked to these girls for a while when all of a sudden I got extremely feverish. I had taken some shrooms, thinking it was only a microdose but when they hit it was bad and I knew almost right away that I had to get the fuck out of there. Luckily we live in a society with Ubers and Lyfts which got me home asap. I honestly calmed down the instant I got into the Lyft so I think it was just a tiny bit too much cause I didn't feel those strong effects at all after. 


That kind of sucked cause I wanted to see the intern but it's a good learning experience to know what my limits are. I was feeling down and it definitely made me reevaluate my relationship with psychedelics. It's weird but I was very hesitant on taking them since I had already microdosed in the morning and didn't want to just use them to have fun. 

I guess I shouldn't have cause that's the reaction I had.


I feel good now as of writing and will continue to use them but will be more diligent.





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