The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...
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June 20

Good day today for the most part. I've been trying to implement being present and truly understanding what it means throughout the day. Listening to "A New Earth" by Eckart Tolle helps a lot.


My understanding of what it means to be present boils down to a few things. 

Not using the past to try and predict what will happen in the moment. This applies to personal experiences such as relationships or events that have happened to me which make me fearful or doubtful of a new situation. Another aspect of this, however, are the built-in rules that we are taught growing up. Everyone has their own experiences but for me, I always grew up thinking that I had to do my absolute best in every single situation to succeed. This added a lot of stress to my life and made me a real people pleaser. Life is what it is at any moment and working extremely hard could make me "successful" in a sense but I sacrificed my well-being and who knows, maybe I'll fail instead or get hit by a car. 


Everything I just wrote, to me, means one thing, letting go of control. 


Knowing these things now is one thing but implementing them is another. I'll get into moments where I'll feel like I have to sacrifice my well-being or be treated badly just because there's a "risk" associated with me acting out. For example my job, I want to set better boundaries with my bosses but it's hard. Or telling a girl how I really feel. All these things have outcomes that my past experiences and lessons have taught me to expect. In reality, those "experiences" are just that, experiences. What the future holds cannot by any stretch of the imagination be predicted accurately in its entirety. 


Why even try to control it then...



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