The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...
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June 22

I texted my boss today asking for a raise. He said we'd talk about it tomorrow in person. It took a lot for me to do that but it's something I'd been contemplating and feeling very restless over. We will see how the talk goes, I'm preparing to be firm and not be a pushover. 

It feels good though when I face the thing that is bothering me rather than letting it pester away at me. These types of situations have been a common occurrence in my life and unfortunately, I don't face them. Instead, I let it build up, which creates inner tension and resentment towards other parties involved as well as myself. Eventually, this tension can't last and I explode. 

In my experience, I held those feelings in because I feared losing something. Now I've been living my life as if there isn't anything to lose. If my job can't accept paying me better then I will find another job. If a girl rejects me, I will simply find another girl. 

The theory of what I'm saying is something I've always thought about but bringing it to reality has never happened until now. I still don't know how I will react if I lose the job, it will probably hurt but I just have to have continued faith in myself and the path I choose to lead. 

The only thing I can lose in life is the way I choose to live it. That can be taken away from me if I don't assert my needs.

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