Popular culture

Popular culture seems to idolize a certain way of living. As I listened to “Pop That Pussy” by 2 Live Crew, I couldn’t help but notice the themes: open sex, partying hard, doing drugs, and living without limits. The message is clear—freedom means indulgence. In another one of their songs, “Banned in the USA,” the group pushes back against censorship, arguing that their lyrics are misunderstood and not meant to promote violence or disrespect toward women. They claim to be simply expressing pleasure and freedom in a new era, pushing against the morals of those who don’t understand—likely white, conservative America. Hearing those lyrics made me reflect on the current state of popular culture, especially from my perspective as a middle-class white guy in my early twenties. Today, in much of rap, movies, and TikTok, there’s this ever-present sense that to be “free” is to act on every desire. If you want to fuck, you fuck. If you want to do drugs, you do them. If you want to party and lose ...

june 6

 Work was easy today, I didn't have a lot to do and was generally in a good, and more so calm mood. I got to go home at 3:00 PM today and decided to watch the new Spider-man movie. After that, I spent some time with two friends I met playing pool downstairs. I have a strange feeling around them, it's like I'm trying to figure out if I really want to be friends with this person or if they really want to be friends with me. 

I'm hyper-analyzing everything and projecting my idea of what a friendship should look like onto myself. I imagine it being back-and-forth banter, constant laughter, and constant deep conversations. 


Sometimes it feels too awkward to engage in any of those activities with these two people. 


As of writing this I just finished watching a video about connections and CPTSD. The main idea is that you can numb yourself to the point that you don't have needs. When this occurs, you become a good listener but often struggle to hold conversations because you don't really voice anything thats on your mind. An example of this would be talking about a movie I just watched or an idea I've been struggling with. When those things get voiced you start a conversation that matters to you and thus can connect with a stranger. I struggle to do this and when I do it feels very uncomfortable, almost like I'm being an inconvenience and that we should talk about another topic.


I don't want to end on a downer cause I feel like today was nice. I did break through in conversation a few times and work has been less stressful. I also thought about control a little which is good to keep in the back of my head. 


Remembering that control is the enemy and letting go of what is, and letting time run it's natural course will serve me much better.

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