fault, anger

 I'm angry at people and myself for a situation that happened. I can acknlowedge my own wrong-doing in the matter and feel lots of guilt and shame about it. I also see flaws in how others acted. This brings a lot of anger to the surface and I feel like I'm not allowed to express it because I may have been "more" in the wrong. -- I've seemed to convince myself that I am this terrible person. Someone that's abusive and deserves to be alone. Any thoughts to the contrary get swallowed up, often by rage and vindictiveness towards others. I think in black and white. I'm either the complete issue or I'm the victim to these people. Otherwise I cannot find a reason to excuse my behavior and forgive myself. 
Post a Comment

Oct 29

 I'm having a mini panic attack, it started when I noticed the funds in my bank account. I often get a feeling of despair when I think of money but this time the feeling has persisted long and has led to lots of spiraling thoughts that I can't seem to shake. 


I just want to sleep but my brain has painted a very gross picture of the world in my mind and it's left me feeling hopeless. I feel like if I ask for help from my parents I'm hurting them. I want to do it all on my own. 


Thinking about money makes me scared, distressed, and hopeless. 


Comments

Post a Comment