fault, anger

 I'm angry at people and myself for a situation that happened. I can acknlowedge my own wrong-doing in the matter and feel lots of guilt and shame about it. I also see flaws in how others acted. This brings a lot of anger to the surface and I feel like I'm not allowed to express it because I may have been "more" in the wrong. -- I've seemed to convince myself that I am this terrible person. Someone that's abusive and deserves to be alone. Any thoughts to the contrary get swallowed up, often by rage and vindictiveness towards others. I think in black and white. I'm either the complete issue or I'm the victim to these people. Otherwise I cannot find a reason to excuse my behavior and forgive myself. 

Dec 16

The issue I have with business from being a business major. 


The issue I have is the philosophy of business. It feels like negative externalities aren't ever considered. For example, a company might find some value in a neighborhood. They buy up or build in the community which creates financial wealth for them but then end up gentrifying the area. The company will see this as a win, not for the community or people but for their monetary gain. Also, many of these big firms aren't based in said communities so don't end up creating jobs for anyone. 

For valuing real estate, we don't look at the issues the community needs fixing, we only see a tiny part of it that can be exploited. I think in general this view is pretty specific to a small number of companies. I also think business is something that if used correctly can help lots of people. 


Another issue I have is the idea that the treasury is 100% secure. When we discount money to find a present-day value for our investment. We are making the assumption that the United States government will back our decision. The argument against, depressions and inflation is that we have seen it before and that it will find its way back to normal feels wrong. I get that we have close to 100 years of data but that doesn't mean we won't go to war tomorrow. If we are being relative that's just a blip. If Russia overtakes us our 30-year loan interest rate won't really matter. It's one big system built on a pretty naive assumption. 

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