fault, anger

 I'm angry at people and myself for a situation that happened. I can acknlowedge my own wrong-doing in the matter and feel lots of guilt and shame about it. I also see flaws in how others acted. This brings a lot of anger to the surface and I feel like I'm not allowed to express it because I may have been "more" in the wrong. -- I've seemed to convince myself that I am this terrible person. Someone that's abusive and deserves to be alone. Any thoughts to the contrary get swallowed up, often by rage and vindictiveness towards others. I think in black and white. I'm either the complete issue or I'm the victim to these people. Otherwise I cannot find a reason to excuse my behavior and forgive myself. 

Jan 1

I can see the two paths I can go down. The first are those who pride themselves in being real and not chasing the money. The alt crowd who are open to anything. Then there’s the route of wealth, pride, and respect. This path is about suffering to get what you want. It doesn’t really matter what you do but as long as you do it well and make money you can live a good life. This life is more about appearances while the prior is about feelings. 

Is one inherently wrong or is it all objective. 

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