It's going to be okay

Some nights, like tonight I spiral down a sea of thoughts that just don't quite go away. Thoughts of my character, the character of others, decisions, direction, little interactions and everything in between stick with me. There are overarching themes of trust, self-worth, and friendship which I already think about daily. 

I think about ways I could have stood up for myself better and become my own bully for not doing it. When I took a step back and told myself it's going to be alright I started to feel better. It gave some perspective and slowed my spiral down. I think of the ways I've improved my life for the better like making the decision to quit a job because it didn't fulfill my needs. Or the decision to change diets, cook more, learn more, reach out more, exercise more, stand up for myself more, and prioritize sleep and health. 

These things have made me feel really good the last few months. Just writing those down calms me down and gives my mind some food for thought, maybe it's going to be okay. 

I want to end this here but another thought popped into my mind. I get the feeling that tomorrow morning is going to bring a lot of similar thoughts to light. Big decisions I've been grappling with and if I could tell that morning me one thing it's that the choices you make aren't bad. They are your choice and by the law of nature it's going to have an effect on others. Do what feels right, stick with it and don't reminisce about what could have been.