feeling and anxiety dreams

I started taking some nicotine pouches recently in an attempt to quench my cigarette habit to have healthier lungs. It's a much different drug in my eyes as the effects are much more mellow and less apparent. Since I started three days ago I've also taken two naps. Both times I had nightmares where I woke up in a state of high anxiety that I could FEEL. This feeling didn't end after the dream and persisted yet I had controlled over it. I felt it but was able to calm myself down and be present with it. This occurred two days in a row only after naps. After the nap and anxiety I actually felt very good. 

I think my feelings have been repressed for a long time and actually being able to feel something so heavily made me feel good. On that subject of feeling I've been practicing surrendering and sitting with emotions more frequently. I'm still not entirely sure what that really looks like but for me right now it just means trying to feel it in my body which is typically in my stomach but I've started to notice more in my chest now. This is going to sound strange but when I flex my penis upwards I'm able to feel my stomach well. It's different that flexing your abs. Anyway I'd been doing that for a while when I noticed a difficult emotion and just sat with it when I could. Sometimes I tried to name the emotion, other times I let it be. But as I said earlier, I sometimes feel them higher up in my chest now without a need to flex the peener. 

And ya I've been feeling better. Another part of this practice is to try and live with decisions I make as well as make some I've been waiting to. So I made some hard decisions regarding a relationship and also asking for a promotion at work. The outcome needs to be surrendered to and just being happy that I took that risk is what matters most right now. Another thing I decided to surrender to is my sleep habits. I really beat myself up for going to bed late even though working in the restaurant industry it's kind of a given. I would try and force myself to sleep earlier and just end up being tired all the time and upset that I wasn't disciplined. So overall, I've been doing more things my way and not judging myself for those decisions. This helps me stay out of my head and really lead my life the way I want it to. 

I still have some big decisions coming up regarding work and where I live but I'm confident I'll make the decision thats right for me when the time comes.