friends

 I want friends and the only people I can seem to connect with on an emotional level are women. The problem then becomes that I want to sleep with them. My thought is that that is the way I'm programmed as a man and I shouldn't seek women friendships. Instead I should connect with men which unfortunately I've struggled with tremendously. I'm saying this having had close friends since high school yet I'm not able to bond with them the way I wish I could. It's difficult to explain the difference between male friendships and female friendships but the ladder typically energizes me and gives me confidence while the ladder feels like a chore. A lot of the guys I meet seem really stupid and only want to talk about sports. 

I feel stuck wanting new friendships and relationships and constantly feeling like I either fuck it up or don't actually like the person. Typically it's the people I find most interesting that I struggle to interact with. I see all their good qualities and assume they'd want nothing to do with me.