The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...
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Resistence to forgiveness

 I've been posting less cause I've been feeling really good. My life hasn't really changed but my perspective on it has. The last few days however have been tougher. I've been on somewhat of a comedown marked by a lack of work and resting after a soccer match. Spending a lot of time alone reflecting on the last two weeks and my progress. Notably trying to figure out how I can get back to the state I was in just a few days ago. I realized that I had slipped back into old habits of blaming others. For example a thought that often crosses my mind is that I need new friends. My friends of almost 10 years have flaws for sure and in my head they are the ones stopping me from succeeding. Succeeding with women mainly but socially in general. This victim mentality doesn't help me but it's been a constant in my life, blaming my parents as well. This resulted in me holding back a lot of love for them and in retrospect myself.

These are my boys and I love them like family. I need to remind myself that it's not worth changing myself for a women or anyone. And that forgiving them for their imperfections heals me most. That was really how I started thriving, letting go of being perfect and being happy with who I was around. It's not super easy to maintain and I slipped a little but hopefully I can get back on the horse. The main thing is resisting forgiveness and getting over that hump.

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