Good day

I had a good day today. My morning didn't go as planned but got some good news regarding a client of mine. Really the last few weeks of work have been getting better. My confidence has grown and I'm talking with clients like a true guide which I love.  Still my mind races at night. Thoughts that everything I do will cause damage like people not being able to afford their homes or generally advising badly. Taking it one step further, I'll have thoughts that everything about it, the industry, capitalism, New York, is bad and that I'm just a part of the problem. These thoughts creep up most noticeably at night when my might starts to race. Sleep has always been a problem for me. I stay up late and when I try to go to bed early my mind is restless. Other thoughts are on sex, lately I've been trying to avoid the subject. It's an issue for me as I get into situationships revolving around it. I let the thought of it tarnish sensibility and it often stops me from gettin...

porn and love

 I've found myself watching more porn recently than I want to. Every time I finish I have a little shame attack. I feel like by watching it I'm actively ruining my life. 

My mindset recently has been to try and avoid obsessing over things which will hopefully lead me to detach and actually bring them into my life. When I watch porn I feel like I'm doing the opposite. I'm glorifying sex and women for myself which makes it difficult to talk to them in person. 

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