Good day

I had a good day today. My morning didn't go as planned but got some good news regarding a client of mine. Really the last few weeks of work have been getting better. My confidence has grown and I'm talking with clients like a true guide which I love.  Still my mind races at night. Thoughts that everything I do will cause damage like people not being able to afford their homes or generally advising badly. Taking it one step further, I'll have thoughts that everything about it, the industry, capitalism, New York, is bad and that I'm just a part of the problem. These thoughts creep up most noticeably at night when my might starts to race. Sleep has always been a problem for me. I stay up late and when I try to go to bed early my mind is restless. Other thoughts are on sex, lately I've been trying to avoid the subject. It's an issue for me as I get into situationships revolving around it. I let the thought of it tarnish sensibility and it often stops me from gettin...
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expectations

 I can't help but think of "500 Days of Summer" when talking about expectations. For those who don't know the movie follows a man in search of love. He often finds himself in situations that are totally normal and OKAY but since he has a massive expectation set on it, he sets himself up for failure. The reality is that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need. Love that lyric. 

In my case, I've been better about noticing the expectations I have. For example the need to get laid if I go out. Typically this resulted in me acting like a jackass to women and to my friends. Coincidentally it also didn't get laid. Even if the night was by all means a win, if it didn't live up to that standard I would be sad.

So for 2026 I'm going to be open to the limitless possibilities the world throws my way. Accept the challenges, perils, and opportunities. Stop putting expectations on how things should be or how you think people reacted. Be present, be you, and keep going. 

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