texting

I recently Instagram messaged a girl who I met through a mutual friend. We had a good time dancing and though I wasn't sure if my mutual friend was into her so didn't ask for her number. Fast forward a few weeks and I'm trying to make decisions for myself and what I want. I text her about fun things to do in the city we both live in since she's from here.  No reply for a few hours and it stings a little but deep down I know that it's worth it that I tried. Then she responds and seems really enthusiastic and gives me some great recommendations. Now I feel even more pressure. Cause what I really want is to just ask her out. Instead now I feel this pressure to continue the conversation and every thing I say twirls in my mind a million times over. It's basically the same anxiety of talking to a pretty girl at the bar. Thoughts that she's gonna judge me, I'm not good enough, everything blurs my mind and I can't even focus. Action : I'm going to ask he...
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I like the music

 Going out I find it increasingly difficult to talk to women. The idea of approaching a women and talking to her feels like I'm a salesman. It's like I'm putting on a performance with the message being "here is why you should fuck me". 

Maybe I choose this reasoning cause I'm scared to get rejected. That notion is definitely true. Still I think I that approach won't net me the women I want. What will? I don't know but my assumption is that as long as I stay true to myself they will find me. 

Maybe that's naive or delusional but I don't see a way around it.

I'm looking in the wrong place. I don't think drinking in inherently bad but I can't get this drunk. I've said it before but I need to mean it. I just let myself go and follow someone else's lead whose equally if not more fucked up. 

Cool it on the drinking, join groups, have a schedule that works. Play sports. Things will work out.

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