transient

 I'm always fighting myself and my ways. I want to be like others, I want to be passionate about one thing and do it well. I want to make a lot of money and I also want to save the world. I want to be humble and and one with nature. I also want to have sex with beautiful women. 

Sometimes I embody these wants, in which case I feel a temporary moment of happiness. When that thing inevitably disappears or the moment passes I begin to feel bitter again. I think that I need to accept that this is how I am. I grew up moving, being different. I like learning new things and I don't want to settle for things that make me unhappy. Maybe my transient ways ARE who I am and instead of being angry about them, learn to love yourself for the exact reason you hated yourself. 

Think about how many unique experiences you've had. Living in the Caribbean, Italy, Wisconsin, New York, surfing in Costa Rica, having friends in the Netherlands, the mountains in boulder, Colorado. Working in restaurants, supporting yourself through college, growing up with one parent, teaching tennis, standing up for myself, taking risks, being abused, playing soccer, learning spanish, knowing dutch, being fluent in italian, building computers, fixing electronics, editing videos, growing plants, playing guitar, listening to oldies, listening to all kinds of music, practicing meditation, and so many more things that make you unique. 

Just cause you aren't settled into one path does not de-value you. It's just where you are in life and things change. You are allowed to be happy right now.