The Right Way To Look at The World

I've been watching the first season of The White Lotus and for those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a few rich families as they spend their time at a resort in Hawaii. Each family is massively flawed though one particularly caught my attention due to their conversations. The mother is a CEO of a multinational cooperation, the father is unknown but makes less than her, son is addicted to pornography and screens, and daughter is a drug addict with insane jealousy issues. They all have different ideas of what is right and voice them often. The daughter has a black friend who she brought, who both share the idea that "it's time for the white man to step aside" which is contrary to the mother who feels for her son, saying that it's not his fault and not he's being unfairly ostracized from society. The resort they are staying at used to be native and sacred land but the government and developers didn't care. Some of those natives now work at the hotel. Tha...
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what I want in my life

 I feel like a big downside of my character is the inability to decide what I want in my life. This typically being between ideas, values, and people. A recent example is taking on a more religious life vs continuing under the spiritual path I had taken. Remaining friends with the same people or making new friends. Being a conservative vs a liberal. One day I love my friends, I feel my path connected spiritually with the world, and capitalism and a more conservative worldview reign supreme. The next day I'm bored with what my friends have to say and wish I had different ones, my path feels blocked by my past and the current society we live in, and all I want is drastic change. These ideas aren't don't have to be bundled together they all scramble between each other and really confuse me. 

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